I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
