just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Ladies don't puke and tell
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
