Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
