we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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