What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
