Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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