You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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