i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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