I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
