D3 body, D1 cock
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
