whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
My penis needs a shock collar
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Randomize
