Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
