in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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