So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
