Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
