last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
