69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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