I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
