She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
