oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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