Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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