its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
