dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
