well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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