Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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