it wasn't lemon gatorade
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
