The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I faked an abortion last night.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
ugly people sure do ruin things
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
