I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
