So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
