they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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