last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
The adults are the big ones right?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
