Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
