matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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