I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
