Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You should frame my arrest warrant.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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