I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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