You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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