we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
