i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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