i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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