Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
