Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
