I smell stomach acid.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
