Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
