people are starting to question the shark bite story
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Operation Purity has been aborted
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
