Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
