I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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