So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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