i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Gay?
German.
Pity.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
