38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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