Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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